Grief & Trauma Coaching Session

R600

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Love, Compassion, & Healing all begin from Within.

My 60 Minute Grief & Trauma Coaching Sessions are designed to meet you exactly where you are in your life right now, so you can shift, change and create what you most want. One of the things I’ve learned on my own journey from grief to gratitude, is that when something unimaginable occurs, it’s a WAKE-UP call… you realize that all you have is today. It takes COURAGE to work through big LIFE Transitions , re-evaluating your life, and re-imagining  your future. I can guide you towards finding more ease and flow along your journey.

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Are you ready to Create Change in Your Precious Life?

When we GRIEVING, there is this fear of feeling so much that it overwhelms us, then we often try to avoid “our feelings” at all costs. Of course this takes a huge amount of energy. I tell my clients that it is like trying to constantly keep a beach ball down in the water. Ironically, this “holding down” and “trying to keep at bay” is what wearies our HEARTS. And yet, when we have the sacred space to skillfully allow “the ache”, the fear, and the emotions to finally be felt – drip by drip, little by little, tear by tear, – we find that ironically what is “falling apart”, allows for our hearts to “break wide open.” When we ‘lean in’’ to the pain we experience the healing and transforming power of tenderness, rawness, and realness.

Grieving is a journey that needs holding, clarity and massive amounts of love and healing. I often say that we go to the mountains for clarity, to the ocean for healing. Over the years, many people have come to me during their broken open moments for self-care and support – with their own traumas, wounds, and soul needs.  Every one of these sweet souls were so very loyal to their suffering!

Lessons From My Journey
  • Life is a privilege, not a promise. Live your life with intention.
  • Hope matters. Greet each day with a hopeful heart.
  • Look for the blessing in every situation, especially the most difficult ones. It’s the best way to stay grounded in gratitude.
  • Kindness counts! Reach out to others in love and kindness; a single loving act can (and does!) change the world.
  • Remember that you are not in control of ANYTHING except your attitude.
  • Tell people you love them as often as possible… you may never get another chance.
  • Look for ways to make a difference; live by inspiring others to fly.
  • BE A  L.I.G.H.T.  my acronym for Love, Inspire, Give, Heal, Transform. 

My Grief Experience

I’ve learned that grief is not something we experience only when we lose a loved one; it is a complex emotional reaction that we feel when confronted with major life changes: the loss of a job, a dream, a relationship, our home, our health, or even the loss of connection to something we hold dear.

Everyone’s grief journey is different… and the ability to emerge with your soul intact is dependent upon your willingness to do the excruciatingly difficult work that grieving requires. It is a long and lonely process, and no-one can accept the reality of YOUR loss for YOU… it is something that you must do for yourself. If you actively work at grieving it usually takes three years to move through the pain and sadness  be able to fully embrace life again.

One of the things I’ve learned on my journey is that LOVE is a force so powerful that it transcends death.

I have learned that Growth and Grief can be quite spectacular. My own experiences have equipped me with Compassion, Empathy, Kindness and Understanding of others suffering.

  • I have survived Divorce, Single Parenting and my House burning down.
  • The Living loss of family
  • I am a Cancer Survivor
  • Death of my son Ryan (Age 27)
  • Death of both my parents Steve & Maureen
  • Death of my Godmother Cathy
  • Murder of my sister in-law Denise
  • Death of my close friend Ann
  • Murder of my best friend Brenda
  • Suicide of my friend Tom

Are You Grieving?

Feel your feelings… grief is excruciatingly painful, and there aren’t any shortcuts. The only way to manage the grief is to grow through it.

Take time to remember… and to celebrate your loved one’s legacy.

Listen to your heart… and be gentle with yourself.

Look for ways to help others; it is a great way to heal.

You are NOT alone! Don’t be afraid to ask for help– or a hug– when needed.

I want you to know that : YOU are safe, loved, protected and guided, May you be extra gentle, loving, compassionate and patient with your tender heart. May you know peace. May you know love. Let Hope be your wings of strength & Courage to get you through this time. I am Sending an entourage of GOD’s Angels to comfort you and bring you peace

Supporting Grief?

Are you supporting someone grieving? Don’t worry about finding ‘the right words’. Simply saying “I’m so sorry for your loss” and giving a hug can bring great comfort.

Reach out and continue to reach out. The grieving process takes a LOT longer than you can possibly imagine if you haven’t gone through it. Don’t expect someone to ‘get over it’ in a few weeks or months.

Listen. Part of the grieving process involves telling the story of how your loved one died… and then telling the story of how they lived.

Don’t be afraid to mention the name of the person who died. Creating a safe space to talk about their loved one won’t upset someone who is bereaved. Sharing stories and photographs can help them keep the legacy of their loved one alive.

Provide practical assistance. Don’t say ‘call me if you need anything’… people who are grieving are often disoriented and have trouble remembering things. They may not even remember that you offered to help, and even if they do remember, they probably won’t want to impose on you. Instead, call and say “I’m on my way to the supermarket and am bringing you bread, eggs and milk– what else do you need?”

Firsts are REALLY hard! Doing something for the first time without your loved one is incredibly difficult. Whether its going back to work, going on a trip or going to a party, it can help to have someone recognize and acknowledge these firsts. If you are making a holiday dinner, invite the person who is grieving. They may leave early, or choose not to come, but knowing someone cares enough to reach out to you means a lot.

Remember special dates: Birthdays (both of the person who died and the person you are supporting) and anniversaries are milestones on your grief journey. Put these dates– and the date of death– in your calendar so you can call, text, or send a card. It will make more of a difference than you can possibly imagine.

Understand that you can’t fix this. There isn’t anything you can say or do to bring the person who died back. All you can do is accompany your loved one on their grief journey.

A Grief Metaphor

The ocean offers a great metaphor for how we can navigate the waters of suffering.

Think of suffering as a wave. Regard your anxious thoughts, your bouts of anger, your deepest sorrow , your heart aching grief… all as waves. Sometimes your grief can seem like a wave that goes on forever. Sometimes your anger seems like a wave that tosses you around. Sometimes your anxiety feels like a wave that washes over you several times a day. But… it is a wave. And it belongs to the ocean. It rises from (and in) the ocean, and it returns to the ocean. There is something within you that is bigger than the wave, that HOLDS the wave.  There is something within you that is the OCEAN. Call it Self or God… whatever language resonates with you.  But YOU are the ocean. The Love and Light that is within you – that is the ocean. The “voice within”, the Spirit within, the Sacred Space within you – this is the ocean. The waves are a part of you, but you are much more than the waves.

You are the ocean. You call forth the waves. You call them back to you. They belong to you. They may rise and cause some commotion on the surface. But your deep waters know a deeper truth than the illusion you are temporarily believing in the middle of experiencing a wave. I encourage you to go to these deep waters when you are suffering. Trust the gem of wisdom these deep waters speak to you.  Find a steadiness here that is a refreshing relief from the surface waters that change with every shift in your emotional weather system. And ultimately, you will experience and know in your bones, you are the OCEAN. You are love.  And it is Love that will have the final say, no matter how strong or long the wave of suffering.

The next time you experience an unpleasant wave and you are suffering, say to yourself: “I remember now that I am the ocean.”  And watch the wave rise, fall, and return back to you as the ocean. It sounds simple. And it is. But it’s not easy. When we are suffering, everything in us wants to tighten up, get control, and get a grip.  It takes conscious, mindfulness effort to remember to soften and say to ourselves, “I am not only this wave. I am the ocean.” And it takes discipline to say it again and again and again in the throes of the habitual waves we are used to experiencing.

So take heart. Be gentle with yourself, remind yourself that you are the Ocean.

  • What I know for sure is that any form of suffering truly is temporary.
  • It is a wave, it is an experience that is held in the Divine Ocean.
  • This ache, this “breaking open,” you may be experiencing right now in your life is a holy invitation to lean in and break open, so be mindful and pay attention my sweet friend.

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